Lean into Fear and Embrace Being a Beginner.

What does it mean to “lean into fear”? It means that when the thought of doing something makes you uncomfortable, that’s usually a sign that you should do it. Feeling intimidated or afraid is a sign of personal growth potential, and exposing yourself to the things that intimidate you is what helps you conquer those fears.

“A ship is safe in harbor — but that’s not what ships are for.”

– John A. Shedd

Where is your harbor?

What is your comfort zone?

What intimidates you?

Seriously, take a second to actually answer that for yourself.

Think about a goal that you have for your life — maybe even something that you’ve convinced yourself is more of a fantasy, at this point. 

Is it to be your own business owner?

To travel the world and see 50 countries?

To find the love of your life and raise beautiful babies?

To get in shape and run a marathon?

To speak on stage one day about something you feel passionate about?

What’s the thing you fantasize about accomplishing?

Got it? See it in your mind?

Good. Now ask yourself…

Why haven’t you done that yet?

or better yet…

Why aren’t you working on it?

You’re talking to yourself here, so skip the pretences and excuses. Save those for other people who don’t care about you enough to question them.

Saying that your life it too busy is an excuse.

Being unmotivated is a little fib you’re telling yourself.

Or saying that you “don’t know how” — that one’s a funny one and, ultimately, the most inexcusable. Because literally anything in life can be learned … but you have to want to learn it.

So, all of these excuses for why you’re not pursuing that life you deep-down desire really do boil down to just one obstacle:

You are afraid. You are in your harbor.

And, hey — that’s okay! I’m glad you’re here.

Now, maybe you read that word “afraid” and rolled your eyes and immediately told yourself some story about how you’re not actually afraid and that it really is because of some external reason.

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t believe you — but that doesn’t really matter, does it?

The question is: do YOU actually believe that?

Or does it feel more accurate to say that it is actually because of fear?

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The number one reason why people don’t pursue their dreams: we fear failing. 

We’re afraid of putting ourselves out there and trying something new, because it’s more comfortable to stay as we are — even if where we are isn’t where we want to be.

Do you get what I’m saying?

We prioritize comfort over happiness. Even when we desperately want change, it’s almost always easier not to. So, we do nothing and instead just talk about the things we could do.

To clarify, I’m not writing this as a preacher who’s exempt from these challenges myself. I spent 10 years thinking that I didn’t really want to settle myself into the 9-5 rat race lifestyle. I don’t enjoy having to answer to a boss or asking permission to travel or spending 70% of my life in an office with people that I don’t love.

I wanted to be able to work from anywhere, to travel whenever I yearn to, and to build a business that I’ll be passionate about and that won’t box me in with corporate rules.

But I was too afraid to pursue that — because I had no idea how to. So, I just … didn’t.

But after my last corporate job abruptly went under during the pandemic, firing every employee at once over a Teams meeting, I took that as a sign that this was my opportunity to try.

I still had no idea what I was doing. I only knew that if I just jumped into another stable job and never even gave it a shot, I wouldn’t be doing it because it’s what I actually wanted — I’d be doing it out of fear.

So, my partner and I spent months researching side hustles and softwares. We’d look for opportunities to talk with other online entrepreneurs. We’d attend conferences and spend money we really didn’t have a lot of.

We still had no idea what we were doing, but we just got up every day and made the effort to connect with people and learn about how to keep moving.

And if we’d never stepped out of our comfort zones to do those things, we would not be where we are today.

Working for ourselves.

Setting our own schedules.

Growing our business together and playing by our own rules.

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We often avoid feeling uncomfortable

Now, even if you don’t care about being an entrepreneur, this topic is still a really valuable one to understand. Because that decision to step away from stable income and pursue financial freedom (with no business background, I might add) is one of the most scary decisions I believe a person can ever make.

Leila Hormozi, a low-key idol of mine, said something in one of her podcast episodes that really hit this home for me:

“Often, the things that prevent us from achieving what we want to achieve are fear, doubt, anxiety — emotions that we don’t like the feeling of.”

What stops you from doing that thing you want to do is NOT that you can’t do it. It’s the fear you’re inserting into your own head by telling yourself that you won’t be able to.

How do you stop doing this? You prove yourself wrong by doing it anyway. Because the only way to get where you want to go is to start moving!

In the podcast episode, Leila talks about the first time she ever did a public speaking gig. She flew in to the city where the talk was happening, and tossed and turned in her bed all night. She’d think about what questions people were going to ask, if people would like her, and if she’d mess up and never be invited back again.

She was afraid. She got no sleep. But she woke up at 5am and did the talk anyway.

And she crushed it! That gave her proof she needed to see that not only was she capable of public speaking — despite being a tired, sweaty wreck — she could actually it pretty well. But in order to get to that realization, she had to remove the “safety option” and force herself to do it.

The only way to get where you want to go is to start moving!

In my case, I had to remove the thing that was keeping me from pursuing my goal. As long as I had a stable job, I wouldn’t pursue being an entrepreneur. Once that job wasn’t there, I had no excuse anymore.

And, yes — it was uncomfortable. It still is sometimes. But that’s the thing we have to realize here: the worst-case scenario is that you’re going to be uncomfortable.

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Embrace not knowing what you’re doing

Have you ever walked into a room — a gym, a board room, whatever — and thought to yourself anything along the lines of…

“I don’t know what I’m doing here”

“Everyone can probably tell I’m a newbie”

“I don’t belong here”

All that’s happening in that moment is that you are uncomfortable, because you are not comfortable in that position yet. But the only way to get comfortable there is to keep doing it over and over again until it feels like your norm!

Repeat this to yourself as many times as you have to:

You’re not an imposter just because you’re a beginner.

Every single person who ever dared to try something new or go somewhere they hadn’t yet gone was a beginner. And the only way we can become experts at anything is to start at the beginning.

So, if you’re not where you want to be in your life, ask yourself if you’re living like a ship in the harbor. 

What are the goals you had for your life, and what fear is stopping you from making them happen?

If this sounds cheesy to you, that probably means that you’ve convinced yourself you’ll never get there and it’s become laughable to think that you could.

But wouldn’t you rather live an exciting, over-the-top cheesy happy kind of life instead of staying in the harbor forever?

Write down a big goal for your life, and then write underneath it what fear you’re allowing to stop you.

I want to move out and buy my own house

I’m afraid of living alone

I want to be my own boss

I don’t know how and am nervous to spend time and money

I want to get married and have kids

I’m uncomfortable going on dates and putting myself out there and maybe getting rejected.

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What you have to do: lean into fear and do it anyway

Now, here’s your task: whatever that fear is that you wrote under your goal — do it.

You’re afraid of living alone? Go live alone for one month.

You’re afraid of starting your own business? Start doing research to find a program that will help you get there, and take it seriously enough to invest in making it happen.

You’re uncomfortable dating? Join an online dating site like Hinge or Bumble and make it your goal to go on one date every week.

The only way to get over your fear is to lean into it.

Avoiding what we’re afraid of only makes the fear worse, and encourages us to keep hiding from it. Living this way ensures that we never surprise ourselves and reach our full potential.

You have no idea what you’re capable of, and you never will if you keep giving yourself excuses.

Lean into fear. Untie the rope. Float away from your harbor. What’s the worst that’s going to happen? You’ll sink and swim back.

But what’s the best thing that could happen?

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If you’re interested in making money online, but have no idea how — you are an inspired idiot!

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